Manly Good-byes

Two Saturdays ago Teri, James and I met some of our closest friends, the Jenkins, for lunch in Franklin Tennessee. The above picture is (from left to right) Elle (the Jenkins youngest daughter), Amanda Jenkins and my wife Teri. Since we just moved to the Nashville area from Los Angeles where our friends still live, it had not been but a few weeks since we had seen them last. They were on a traveling vacation, and made a special stop to chow on MacDonald's, let our children play on the indoor play place and catch up.

As I sat there talking to them about their vacation and our move across the country, I couldn't help but feel sad that this could be the last time in a long time that we would see them.

When Teri and I moved to Los Angeles it took a while for us to find a group of friends that felt like family. Sure, we had people that we hung out with and considered friends, but it was not until I met Dallas at a random poker game, and our families started hanging out that we felt like we could make LA home. Also, through Dallas, he introduced me to his good friend Jason, who cast me in a short film, and Jason and I became close as well. With Dallas and his family, Jason, our church, and the cast of characters I met as a result of the two aforementioned guys, I finally felt that it was possible to look at LA as a community and not an overwhelming metropolis. The three years that Teri and I grew closer to our friends in LA were some of the best years yet.

But times moves on and so must we. Not because it is necessarily fun, but because life changes in ways that we cannot always fathom. LA is not a place that is cheap to live, and trying to do it on a struggling actor's paycheck is almost impossible when supporting a family. So, I had to make the unpopular decision to move Teri, James, Liv(coming in December) and myself to a more affordable part of the country. It has been difficult, especially for Teri who had to leave behind her best friend in Dallas' wife Amanda, but Teri and I both realize that this is only a season in life.

We are trying to look at our new life in Nashville as an adventure, but it is hard to see what we have left behind. Which brings me back to two Saturdays ago at MacDonald's. We spent a great two hours chatting with our friends while constantly watching our kids crawl over the indoor gym. When it was time to go Teri and I hugged Amanda and their kids, said our good byes and walked away to our separate vehicles. I realized that while I was dealing with getting James in his car seat and Dallas was dealing with his kids that Dallas and I did not say good bye.

"Oh well", I thought, "we're guys, it's not that important. I'll catch him next time."

But I couldn't help but feel bummed that I would not be able to give a proper send off to someone who I may not see for a while. I wanted to say that it was great seeing him and his family. I wanted to wish him well.

"Oh well, next time," I said to myself again realizing that we had already parted ways, and it would be too uncool to run all the way across the parking lot just to shake his hand. Looking across the parking lot I saw Dallas getting in his SUV giving the vehicle one last look over to make sure they were indeed ready to drive away to their next destination. As he was launching himself into his large SUV bucket seat he glanced back and nodded to me. I gave a sort of bye salute trying to be cool, and jumped in my car.

That was it. No lengthy good-byes, no details, no "see ya real soons." Just a nod and a salute. But those gestures said everything that words could not. We are friends. Close enough friends to not need the obvious words and polite phrases that some people say to fill in the gaps. But friends who know that being friends means not having to say anything to say it all.